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The Insecurities of Being an Older Mom
Midlife Motherhood
Having a baby post 40 is challenging enough without people thinking you’re a grandma.
I’m at a deli counter in a grocery store when the woman slicing my roast beef asks: “Is that your baby? Or yours for the day?”
“I know,” I say, “she looks nothing like me.” To which she replies: “Oh, I guess that’s it…”, in a way that suggests that’s not it at all.
Only later does it dawn on me she was questioning whether I was the baby’s grandma.
Another time I’m pushing my daughter in a stroller and an actual grandma with a baby stops for a chat. She says our neighborhood is full of grandmothers caring for children. As I walk away, I wonder if she thinks I’m one of them.
When I tell friends these stories, they say I’m being hypersensitive. They say no one can guess my age, and who cares anyway? What matters is how I feel. Besides, it’s not like I’m the only older mom out there.
The average age of first-time moms has risen from 21 in 1970 in the US to 26. In other countries, like Greece, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Japan, Spain and Italy, it’s 30-plus.
Women are delaying parenthood to pursue careers — including A-list celebrities like Rachel Weisz at 48 and Laura Linney at 49 — or are…
