We’re Abusing Our Kids and Telling Ourselves It’s for Their Benefit

Pushy Parents

SG Buckley
3 min readOct 2, 2022

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Photo by Molnár Bálint on Unsplash

A friend works as a mental health counselor at a primary school. She recently asked a group of 10 and 11 year-old girls to write anonymous notes to their parents. She encouraged them to say things they wished their parents knew.

Here is what some of them wrote:

I feel anxious all the time

Please stop shouting at me

I can never please you

I wish you’d listen

Afterwards, my friend shared these messages at a session with the girls’ parents.

“They must have been mortified hearing what their kids wrote,” I said.

“Not at all,” my friend replied. “They tell themselves they’re pushing their kids for their own good. It’s a competitive world. In reality, it’s emotional abuse.”

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SG Buckley

Writer, editor, parent. Former staffer at Quartz, WSJ and Inc. magazine.